How to detect bullying and how to deal with it
We all hope it won’t be our child who gets picked on or bullied at school, but the truth is, that bullying can happen to any child, at any point in their childhood. There is a fine line between thoughtless actions and bullying. When actions or words are deliberately and repeatedly used to cause hurt, this is bullying. How do you help your child overcome bullying?
Help Your Child to Understand the Bully’s Insecurities
Typically a bully has a very low self-esteem and there is always a reason behind that. If your children are old enough, help them to understand that when someone is bullying another person they are hurting too. Many children think that bullies are horrible people, try to change the way they view a bully. This, in turn, will change the way their interpret the actions of that individual.
Don’t Let them Bottle it Up
Encourage an open dialogue between you and your child. They should always know they can come to you with problems, big or small. Don’t let them bottle it up. Some children might try to hide the way they’re feeling due to embarrassment. If you can create an openness between the two of you right from the start, communication should follow more naturally when problems do occur. Look for signs that something is bothering him/her after or before school and use this as a starting point.
Help to Prevent Cyberbullying
In this new age, cyberbullying cannot be forgotten. If your child has access to the internet, particularly any form of social media, they are at risk of being cyberbullied. It’s far more common than you might think but makes sense when you consider how easy it is to
A lot of children assume that because hurtful things are being said online, it’s not as serious as someone physically bullying them, or being hurtful to their face. This belief stops them from seeking help and creates this idea that their feelings are wrong. As soon as your child is old enough to use any form of social media, including email, educate them about cyberbullying. Stress the importance and seriousness of any form of online bullying.
Build Up Their Resilience
‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words cannot harm me’. We all know this rhyme, but the truth is that words do hurt. As a parent, you need to acknowledge this and let your child know that you’re not dismissing the way they feel. Instead, it’s about helping them develop coping mechanisms and ways to overcome those feelings.
Support your children to follow their interests and set healthy goals. These types of actions can help to build self-esteem. This is crucial if bullies are working to bring it down. It’s a wall of defence.
Talk to the Other Parent
Parents are just as shocked to learn their child is a bully, as you were to learn your child was being bullied. When approaching other parents, try not to point the finger. Talk to them about your concerns without blaming them. It can be embarrassing and hurtful for the parent of a bully to realise their own child is struggling internally and in the process causing pain to others. Be sensitive to this.